i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
