I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
