you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
