Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
