1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I will die if light touches me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
