the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
