I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
