The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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