not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
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