i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
