Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
