is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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