Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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