Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
