Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize
