She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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