A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
