Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I want her autograph on my taint
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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