Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
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I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
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I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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