So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
