the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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