Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
