I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
