North Korea, Best Korea!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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