u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
