she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
