I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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