She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
