How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
