There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
