I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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