No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
