i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
