girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
