I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
