Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
