We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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