He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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