he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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