Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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