I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
