Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
