If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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