she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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