I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You have to summon your inner elephant
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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