At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
