he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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