Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
