My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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