Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
