Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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