He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm both gender and math confused
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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