Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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