Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
