Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
