Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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