Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize