i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Drake has all the answers
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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