Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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