Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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