Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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