there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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