I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
PANTIES FOUND
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